why is it impossible to find running shorts with pockets

does Adidas think I don’t have a phone

does Nike not care if I lock myself out of my apartment

ohawkguy:

the notebook problem: you see a notebook. you want to buy the notebook. but you know you have like TEN OTHER NOTEBOOKS. most which are STILL EMPTY. you don’t need to notebook. you’re probably not gonna use the notebook anyway. what’s the point? DONT BUY THE NOTEBOOK. you buy the notebook.

every two weeks without fail

I just want to sleep but if I fall asleep the plane might crash because the only thing keeping it in the air is CONSTANT VIGILANCE and maybe the engines (but who controls the engines HMMMM?? riddle me that)

they threw away my fucking shampoo and sunscreen, lest I blind the pilot with fucking Herbal Essences

hahahhaha one of the comments is “fluoridated by any chance? #wakeupamerica” and I’m laughing in the lobby of this hotel at 4:30am

hahahhaha one of the comments is “fluoridated by any chance? #wakeupamerica” and I’m laughing in the lobby of this hotel at 4:30am

there is some very cool stuff on the buildings down here

there is some very cool stuff on the buildings down here

#1 dad across the hall just called his small son a “little dumb-ass” and dragged him sobbing into their room

gonna go ahead and turn up the TV and pretend i am someplace else

sara-friend:

i had a dream that i went to a craft fair and found a picture frame that i really really wanted but it was $78 and my dreamself legitimately thought “that’s kind of a lot for something that i’m just gonna put a picture of a cat in”

I think this daily about my iPhone

"hell 2 will be like earth 2, except in hell"

false alarm that Waffle House was creepy as hell

gonna go eat a solitary dinner at that Waffle House over there

hotels are sad and boring when you are alone